Sometimes I need to clean out – some kind of cleaning out. It can be as simple as sweeping the driveway for leaves, or going through my clothes to update them to the season. If I don’t exactly throw anything away, I reorganize, which gives me the same ultimate satisfaction. It is like a drug for me, and I need to do this at least once or twice a week.
Today, I had the itch stronger than normal. When that happens I go on my laptop and clean out pictures, documents, browsing history, and emails. I know it’s crazy, because nothing really disappears (it is saved in the iCloud). I just got a new iPhone and did not want to transfer anything from my old one, except my current contacts. I’ve found out that if I ask for everything through iCloud, OMG, I’m running out of space very quickly!
Accumulation. I was never a fan! I do not like too much stuff to carry around, whether physically or virtually. I prefer a clean slate, or the illusion of it. I like to think I can start afresh every time. Even though I can’t, because I need what my life has accumulated so far; otherwise, where do my stories and my images come from? So, this is the conundrum:
I want to clean out but at the same time, I’m collecting: memories, history, pictures, objects, relationships, and I constantly try to organize it all, as if I can…it is an impossible battle. As the oldest of five siblings, I was always the organizer and I let that be a big part of my personality, which is why I crave it, to feel fulfilled.